And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize