I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
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you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I supernannyed him into submission
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