I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
