I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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