i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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