Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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