too bad you live with your parents still
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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