Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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