He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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