Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
