is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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