Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
