Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
