I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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