Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
