You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize