Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
