hotel room ftw
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
