I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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