so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
