True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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