I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
