so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
