You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
