Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
