wat bout pragnant strippers??
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
