He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize