It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
