It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
