Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Randomize
