Where is the hickey?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
