Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize