pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
