apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize