Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I AM VODKA MAN
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
