We're facebook friends in real life
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
