Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I didn't notice because vodka
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize