i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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