We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
