I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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