Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
