god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize