i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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