OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
