I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
