well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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