THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Did you just see the Batmobile???
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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