office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
im on a boat
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