I got chris browned last night
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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