I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
