Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize