Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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