There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
