So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
