mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
