I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have so many feelings about this burrito
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
