the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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