I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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